I recently decided to stop wearing my Fitbit, a decision that felt both liberating and profound. This little device, attached to my wrist, had been my constant companion, diligently tracking my steps, monitoring my sleep, and nudging me to move when I’d been still for too long. It served a purpose, guiding me towards healthier habits. Yet, at the tender age of 51, I found myself yearning to trust my body’s innate wisdom over the instructions of an algorithm run by Google.
The Allure of Health Tracking
For a while, the Fitbit was an exciting tool. It provided tangible feedback and helped establish routines that benefitted my health. But as time passed, I noticed a shift. The joy of movement became overshadowed by the pressure to meet arbitrary targets. I remember vividly the moment of clarity: I was pacing around the house while on holiday in Lanzarote, determined to hit my daily 20,000 steps. It struck me then that what had started as a guide had turned into a taskmaster, pushing me into obsessive behaviour. It was no longer about feeling good but about hitting a number.
Realising the Downsides
In this era of advanced technology, we are surrounded by devices that promise to enhance our lives. There’s no denying that they are incredibly supportive, yet it’s all too easy to rely on them excessively. The biggest a-ha moment was realising that I was outsourcing my awareness, letting a machine tell me what my body should communicate naturally. It’s not that the technology is flawed, but that it can eclipse the beautiful, innate communication system our bodies and minds use to talk to each other. That’s why I decided not to wear a continuous glucose monitor. The thought of being reminded of how my body was dealing with food regularly was just too overwhelming. Couldn’t I trust my body what it is programmed to do without obsessing over it? What was I chasing, really?
The Epiphany
This epiphany led me down another path of reflection. For years, I avoided gluten, convinced it was the culprit behind various ailments. I demonised it, adopting diet after diet – keto, paleo, low histamine – each one more restrictive than the last. The stress of meticulously controlling every nutrient began to outweigh any potential health benefits. I stopped all that during the pandemic when I was feeling so incredibly burned out that I simply had no energy to restrict myself, so my body forced me to eat more intuitively. I reintroduced carbohydrate-rich foods that I had been cutting out of my diet for many years, and it actually felt good to do that, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I made my own sourdough from scratch and it was really satisfying. I then thought, why not have some noodles or pasta? So I did and, frankly, I haven’t looked back.
Recently, I’ve started making seitan at home, a food that’s essentially pure gluten. I love it and, to my surprise, I felt no different consuming it than I did avoiding it. It was a revelation: the demon was not gluten but the stress and guilt I had associated with food.
This mindset shift has been part of what I fondly call my "f*ck off era," a time when I choose to unplug from the matrix of relentless health tracking and dietary restrictions. I seek an honest, intuitive dialogue with my body, free from the mediation of algorithms and external rules. My goals are simple yet profound: to know when I’m full without counting calories, to exercise because my body craves movement, and to rest because I’m genuinely tired, not because an app says it’s time.
The Impact of Stress on Body and Mind
Stress, particularly health-related stress driven by obsessive behaviours around food and fitness, can significantly impact both body and mind. Chronic stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone that, in high levels, can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and fatigue. It can also disrupt sleep, weaken the immune system, and contribute to weight gain, particularly around the abdomen. Obsessive health monitoring can exacerbate these stress levels, creating a vicious cycle where the stress of trying to be perfectly healthy actually undermines overall wellbeing.
Embracing my “F*ck Off Era” with Self-Kindness and Trust
This journey is not just about ditching a Fitbit or eating gluten. In a way, these are the messengers, but they’re not what the whole thing is about. The journey is about self-compassion and trust. It’s about understanding that our bodies are incredibly wise and capable. They know when to heal, when to rest, and when to grow. We can create life, from new neurons to babies, and navigate through deeply rooted emotional traumas. Why then, should we doubt their ability to guide us in our daily routines?
Living with ADHD and navigating various dietary and health ideologies has taught me the value of balance and self-kindness. As a neuroscientist, I appreciate the intersection of science and lived experience. It’s essential to recognise that while tools and diets can support us, they should never overshadow our internal compass. We must celebrate our bodies for their resilience and wisdom, not undermine them with unnecessary stress and control.
As I move forward, my focus is on being real with myself, on knowing my limits, and on honouring my body’s signals without external validation. If I eat a bit more or exercise a bit less than planned, I’ll embrace it without guilt. This is my journey towards true self-compassion, where I respect my body’s signals and trust its inherent wisdom over any device or diet.
In this "f*ck off era," I choose to be unplugged, present, and authentically attuned to myself. Here’s to trusting our bodies, embracing self-compassion, and finding harmony in our own rhythms.
Practical Steps for Embracing Intuitive Living
In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, it's easy to lose touch with our body's natural rhythms. To cultivate a more intuitive and compassionate relationship with ourselves, you might want to consider these practical steps to honour your body's wisdom and nurture self-awareness.
Listen to your body: Start your day by checking in with how you feel physically and emotionally. Are you hungry? Tired? Energetic? Let these cues guide your actions rather than preset goals.
Mindful movement: Engage in activities that feel good and natural to your body. Whether it’s a walk, a stretch, or dancing around your living room, let joy be your guide.
Intuitive eating: Instead of following rigid dietary rules, eat what makes you feel good. Pay attention to how different foods affect your energy and mood, and let that inform your choices. You may journal this if it’s helpful, but without obsessing over noting down every single thought. There is value in just observing the thoughts and letting them sink in without having to note them all down.
Rest without guilt: If your body craves rest, honour it. Whether it’s a nap or a quiet moment with a book, allow yourself to recharge without the nagging voice of productivity.
Celebrate smALL wins: Acknowledge and celebrate ALL your daily achievements, no matter how small. This builds a positive relationship with yourself and reinforces the practice of self-compassion.
By embracing these steps, you can foster a deeper connection with your body, cultivating a life that is both mindful and compassionate.
Unplugging to Reconnect
In stepping away from the constant monitoring of a wearable and letting go of restrictive dietary rules, I've embarked on a new leg of a journey of self-trust and compassion. This journey is about honouring the inherent wisdom of my body, recognising that it is not only capable of incredible feats but also deserving of kindness and respect.
Our bodies know when to rest, when to move, and what they need to thrive. By tuning into this natural intelligence and practising self-compassion, we can free ourselves from the pressures of external validation. Let's celebrate the ALL wins, listen to our bodies, and embrace a life that is not only healthy but also deeply fulfilling and authentic.
So, here's to being real with ourselves, unplugging from the matrix, and trusting the beautiful, intuitive dialogue we share with the human-shaped vessels we live in.
Much love,
Great post Miguel! I'm moving towards my f*uck off era 🤣 not quite there yet. Gradually realising that most of my health issues are down to behaviours and patterns that trigger my nervous system but letting go is the tough part. I have continued to consume gluten (mostly in homemade sourdough) and feel no better or worse when I remove or add it back again. The hard core anti-gluten brigade for autoimmunity still bothers me, but I'm putting my middle finger up in a passive aggressive manner. 😅
Same reasons why I stopped my Oura ring. It was stressing me out that I couldn’t master my sleep, and it kept telling me I was sick when I felt great. Humans love to obsess on data but neglect the harder things in life, such as living in the moment, letting go of control etc. Thanks Dr.